If you’re like most humans, you start the year with the best of intentions, and even start off quite well; taking action towards your goals or practising the new work-life balance you want. And it probably went quite well, until March at least (which is when, for many people, one wheel starts to wobble slightly), or until June-ish when winter kicks in (in NZ anyway) and levels of busy-ness at work tend to ramp up and start taking over everything else. Throw in some school holidays and it can turn into a perfect storm!
This can leave us looking back at our New Year resolutions and goals for this year with a look of bewilderment.
Holy crap, how have I still not done that?! OR… Not again, I promised myself I would make it happen this year!
I can totally empathise with not finding the time or resources to get something started, or to feel that no matter what actions you take you seem to be getting in your own way somehow that you can’t quite put your finger on.
Or perhaps you have started. And stopped again. Twice in fact. Or maybe four times. Keeping up the motivation or energy can be tricky.
It can feel bloody frustrating, disappointing or downright disheartening.
Especially when it goes on for a while.
Plus, you’ve likely taken lots of action and how you might be EXHAUSTED because the balance has gone out the window. Yes, you are actually making it happen but you’re not taking such good care of yourself in the process. This used to be my MO – I know it well!
Why does this happen?
Why, oh why, do we do our level best to make things happen and get out of old patterns and sculpt our life a certain way, and still not get there?
Aside from a busy life getting in the way at times, I have one word for you:
programming.
You are so unconsciously programmed to operate the way you operate that you may not have even noticed (consciously) how you hold the steering wheel when you drive (now that’s got you thinking …). You just do it.
It’s the same with why you do or don’t take certain actions, why you react a certain way to people and situations, and why you can set all the goals in the world – and even take all the action in the world – and still sometimes find yourself stuck, or moving very very slowly.
We are on pre-programmed-auto-pilot ALOT OF THE TIME.
We are a walking product of our conditioning, our upbringing, family and societal values, internal beliefs and perceptions, nervous system and so on and on … It’s all in the mix.
This is not to say that this unconscious stuff is all negative and holding us back. Of course it isn’t.
In fact, the bulk of our unconscious patterns are super useful of course.
Just being able to drive somewhere without much conscious thought about how to operate the gear shift and the accelerator at the same time, whilst your pancreas is busy storing red blood cells and your blood is circulating oxygen around your body, among a thousand other activities is proof enough. It’s bloody amazing. We are almost completely 100 percent brilliant, aligned and evolving. Except for the bit that isn’t.
You probably already know this about the unconscious-programming malarkey, but it’s easy to forget what can be running in the background. And here’s the thing, it can be SO under the radar.
It still stuns me what patterns I stumble upon in myself that I hadn’t spotted before; running so deep, habitually and quietly that I didn’t know they were there. (I recall thinking to myself back in my mid-30’s that with everything I’d done thus far to heal and grow myself surely there was nothing major left to sort out. Ha! What a lark.)
It’s about layers, my friend, and not even in a linear way, but more like a tapestry that we peel back, unwind, release and unfurl into our own innate brilliance and bliss. And it’s not an overnight gig. It takes our desire to unfurl and grow, and our willingness to go where we need to go in order to do that unfurling.
Life can also get in the way. The hubbub of life and your current commitments between family, work, your interests, social time, sport, community activities etc can all capture your time and attention so thoroughly that weeks or months can fly by before you remember you wanted to do X or Y – and X or Y could be something that really matters to you, that will really fulfil you. And you’re not gettin’ to it.
Yet.
“This programme has made a huge difference both personally and professionally. It has really strengthened my inner being and that whole sense of “this is me”. I came into this thinking I needed help with leadership, but that was just the beginning, I somehow stumbled across this amazing journey of self-discovery. I am so grateful! Thank you.”
Awareness
My biggest and most immediate advice to anyone resonating with this brand of stuckness, is to start shining the spotlight on whatever you can notice within yourself. This illumination of your patterns is such a powerful step. And if you can do that without judgment or critiquing, it’s even more useful. It becomes a doorway into learning and up-levelling.
One of my fave discoveries that can come from building self awareness is realising there’s actually a really good reason you haven’t made something happen yet: because it’s not truly in alignment with you. Perhaps it’s even someone else’s expectation, or perhaps you need to turn on its head HOW you want to do it. Getting into alignment is priceless.
So, can you simply notice that apathy, that frustration, the supposed procrastination, the way you just said Yes to doing something for someone on the evening you’d planned to keep aside for some tank-filling for yourself? Can you write it down as an observation? Can you rest your conscious awareness on it, gently and curiously? What do you notice about this emotion or behaviour or pattern that you’ve not noticed before?
If we get curious enough, and genuinely interested in what we may discover about ourselves, it’s amazing what insights drop in.
This is the #1 habit to cultivate for more self mastery: build your wise awareness.
Transformation
There are many approaches we can take once we have the awareness. With the nature of unconscious programming in mind, my own personal journey and discoveries, plus my experience guiding hundreds of clients through change and transformation, in recent years I’ve created a suite of coaching packages – specially shaped to help someone like you to both shift your stuff (even if it looks like beautiful time-weathered chocolate brown leather luggage that you’re still quite attached to) AND get to your goals.
And no matter what your goals or intentions are, it’s all in inside job. As one of my favourite hero-entrepreneurs, Ash Ambirge, says – learning how to become an entrepreneur is always less about business development, and more about personal development.
No matter what area of your life you want to make stellar, it’s all personal, people!
Whether for you it’s about finally snaffling yourself a four-day work week (one of my clients cinched this last December!), taking your business (or career) to the next level, or finally turning your level of stress on its head – you can GO GET IT.
One of these packages is likely to be a fit for you if –
- You’re open and curious and ready for change
- You are ready to step into a new level of yourself
- You have a goal (or goals) and WANT IT!!
- You’re up for more than just your goals – you’re open to the idea that you can step into more than you’re even anticipating
- You’re ready to do the work and make the time and financial commitment
- You’re prepared to work primarily by Zoom (online) or phone.
“It’s definitely one of the best things I did all year, and absolutely the thing that has made the biggest difference for me.”
These packages are powerful containers for change, they’re tailored and they’re results focused. They’re designed to be illuminating, fun and momentum-creating. Your momentum!
They are for the bolshy, life chasers out there who are at the point of – I HAVE to make this happen before I go crazy – because I know that is the life I am meant to be living.
If that describes you, and you’re ready to commit to live the life you KNOW you should be living, all you need to do is reach out. I’ll send you more info, answer any questions you have and you can go from there.
Karen x